Prodito in the house !
The breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship among individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations.
Standing up on a rock cropping in the mountains … 9 to 10 thousand feet elevation … watching a mass of evergreens when the wind comes toward you is a beautiful image. You can see the wind move in the distance, the trees nodding their crowns toward you, closer, closer, closer, and the force glides past you, over you, through your hair. And then, it is gone. Some friends are like that. A “friend” is not always a friend. It is one thing, someone speaks something difficult to hear, with some measure of truth. It is another thing to, as in “prodito” … break / violate a social contract / trust / confidence … that brings about moral / psychological conflict within a relationship.
My family and I went out on a limb to help someone … a friend … a few months ago. Over a period of about ninety days, we bought them meals, provided transportation with the bigger goal in mind of helping them get on their feet. We helped them with expenses. We were like family. Then, things started to “go south”, gaining momentum. I talked to the man, drew a clear boundary, with a calm voice, tactful words, and clarity. Result? He went berserk. I read a number of pieces about betrayal; spent a few hours pondering the reality and concept of betrayal; processed the impact this had on me, along with my family. I am actually curious if any of my fellow bloggers have identified some of these “categories”, themes, thoughts and emotions.
- I wrestle with anger and sorrow. Sorrow, redemptive, healing; anger, unreliable, reckless, selfish, leaves me in a bad place.
- The quotes I have perused, self-pity emerges as a common theme. Self-pity showed itself, a distraction from the better path to healing.
- Betrayal is experienced by everyone, on some level; some experience betrayal on a far more intense, traumatic, level (than others).
- Am surprised that this could happen to me? Yes. No. Betrayal happens, coexisting with formidable pain
- Lastly (for this post), I see a profound opportunity in compassion and forgiveness, for this man. Could it be that a great deal of pain drives this man to “choose” this destructive style of relating?
I know there is more to all of this. I am interested to know how others have handled betrayal, and what their experience is. I know that I can learn from this, regardless of my own pain. I also know that prodito was in the house for a short while. But no more. And in the same house, which is our home, hope rolls on.