A man, a woman, sit together, no joy … just pain.  They have come to see the seer, with the hope that she will see … something.  Something that the two haven’t seen.  Something that will help them push through the desert, a harsh desert; and come out on the other side.  The seer hopes to see well, into and through, the fog, the pain, the guardedness.  The seer has every bit as much hope that the two, across from her, will be able to see … that they will see those pieces that connect with freedom.
“How important is it, to you, that you do see?”
The two appear to be stunned, as if no one has ever asked them that question.  And, maybe, no one ever has.  They appear to be stunned, as the question is not just a question; they are being “called out” … called out to take a step forward and see, even if they encounter something that they don’t want to see.  So they run that question, from the seer, through their hearts and minds … to the point that they both ask themselves a different question, “Am I really ready to be here?”
“We want to be here, and we want to see.”
“The information you communicated on your voicemail I received tells me that you are here to work on your marriage.  Depending on what that means … ‘to work on your marriage’ … it may be difficult, painful to see what is problematic about your relationship with each other.  Keep your courage close, your vision alive, your hope strong. Now, let us see what we can see.”
Image result for Images contemplation


The scenario, above, is a context of seeing; a small allegory.  Allegories and metaphors are powerful, for me, in two ways: teaching, and my own processes of grappling with thoughts I am attempting to resolve.  In my last post (6/24/16), I wrote about my father, Bill Davis, who had passed away that morning.  The grief issue, I am indeed grappling with and attempting to resolve, but I am quite stuck.  To grieve, I think, requires that I “see”; that I see well.  I was talking to another therapist not too long ago.  I expressed to her that … me being a therapist, one would think that I would have a good handle on grief, and how to “do it”.   She said something that validated some of  my cognitive disruption: “I have found that many therapists avoid grief whenever possible.”  Ironic.  The grief process can be quite different for each person.  For me, I am seeing different scenarios where Dad was involved.  And the seeing brings about some disruption, some joy, some great sorrow, some anger.  But grief is not the only context for us, where seeing is so profound.  Seeing comes into play, some days more than others.  When I worked with at-risk adolescents, I found myself seeing something that I truly did not want to see.  It takes courage to see.  It is also a gift to see. I find truth in the seeing; and I find comfort in the seeing.  And in meaningful relationships, we must be able to see.  Throughout all of this, there is strategic seeing.  If we are in the thick of ot, it is not difficult to see … that we are indeed in the thick of it.  In times like that, we must dig down into our heart and soul, and see the hope … see the truth that there is a bigger picture.  The chaos does not define us.  That’s all for now.

3 thoughts on “Seeing

  1. hi T – sorry for your loss – and sending blog hug!
    I enjoyed the post – both parts – your beautiful writing in the first allegory part was written so well!
    and then the sharing about grappling with the loss and process was warm.
    I think grief processes are so universal and yet so individual –
    when our pet Cody passed in April – I deeply processed and moved through so much the first five days – I have to say that I “felt it” and processed it so much.
    we then had two local teens die in a car crash and that devastation was a helpful distraction – put the pet life in perspective – but also allowed me to move into a mode of helping the teens.
    anyhow – I learned a lot about the “individual” side to grief with the Cody loss – and I plan to write about it later – but the hardest part was the shock
    all other close family losses we had bad were expected – somewhat – and it did change things –
    anyhow – thanks for sharing this and I pray that your post here will be a source of insight for all who read it – and may the Lord continue to give you fresh insight, comfort through the mourning phases – and let us fix our eyes on the author of our faith!
    and I know your dad will be on your welcome team when it is your appointed time for heaven !


  2. a perfect scenario for the metaphor of seeing. at times, it is very hard to see the truth, and more importantly, hard to really want to see the truth, when it is offered up. in my life, i’ve had a series of what i’d call epiphanies, where the truth suddenly became apparent to me, whether i was ready for it of not. sometimes, it was there all along, i was just not ready, or didn’t think i was. with grief, i’ve found there is absolutely no straight path, no time limits and no measure of how it will impact each of us. allow yourself to take your time, whatever you need, and i’ve found it’s like the tide, comes and goes and we fall into the rhythm of it over time. it’s always there but becomes the background rather than in the forefront. at the beginning of this summer, i suffered the loss of a relationship that i hoped would last forever, and i’ve suffered from the loss of my expectation, rather than the reality of it. when i look back, many of the truths that came at the end, were always there, and while i say i was blindsided, the signs were all there for me to see, had i really looked. it has gotten better over time, but i am forever changed by it.


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