Interview (Satire) With A Wilder Man

Okay, Mr … “Wilder Man?” … Is that right?  You are Mr. Wilder Man?

Thor, with hammer /

Yes, although the “Mr.” is not used very often.  Call me whatever is most comfortable for you.  Some call me “Thor”, because is short, easy to spell, easy to pronounce.  And, as you can see, I look like Thor.  By the way, do you mind if I put my hammer on the table?  

I see … (clears throat) So, this interview panel will call you … “Thor”.  Let’s get started, Mr. Thor.

Mr. Thor, the position you are applying for is Regional Manger Front Range Territory.  Some of your responsibilities will be to develop the relationships we already have with our buyers, business owners, quality control people, key networkers, etc.   Tell us something about yourself that suggests your experience, your success in this area.

I’ve been wired for this type of thing for as long as I can remember.  (I stand up) This is my purpose for living! (I have raised my voice and I have fire in my eyes) This is what I was created for! As William Wallace once said “You can take our lives!  But you CAN’T … TAKE … OUR … FREEDOM!!

(Interview panel spokesperson clears throat) Ummm, Mr. Thor, please sit back down, and try to keep your voice just a little lower.  Thank you.  Now let’s move on the next question.  Mr. Thor, where do you see yourself in five years?

Great question.  In five years, I want to have moved beyond the position I am being hired for, into a place in the company where I am making more money than anyone else; and I can work whenever I want to,  and I can do whatever I want to.  I want to be your boss.

Hmmmmm.  Well, that certainly is ambitious.  Could you tell us something about why you would say that, Mr. Thor?

Simple.  It is what I am good at.  We thrive on what we are good at.

Well, Mr. Thor, we do need to break for lunch.  When we come back, the panel will let you know if we need to continue the interview.  We may have everything we need.  Any other comments before we take a break, Mr. Thor?

Yes, there is one thing.  AfterI am hired, I would like for you to consider hiring my little brother, as I need to keep an eye on him.  He is a good kid, really (I am stretching the truth, here) … He gets frustrated, but I can usually calm him down.  You might want to jot his hame …. Loki.

6 thoughts on “Interview (Satire) With A Wilder Man

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